Invisible

There are times when I question the state of my own existence. What are we humans but a passing flit in the endless existence of the cosmos? We are but shadows and dust rendered a pawn in the flow of time and of the ages. It is in the midst of these thoughts that I wonder where I'm going with any of this in the future. If there is even a future to talk about that's worthwhile looking forward to is what I wonder. And yet I know my ceaseless imaginations that I wonder about how much a literal grain of sand can do whilst being amongst the other grains of sand. And that's what we are: we are literally animals carving out a measly existence for ourselves in this speck of a planet. We are big, and yet in all our grandeur and finesse, we are constantly fighting to control, harness and master this world that we live in. But is that all we are ever going to be? Just mere creatures that have no hand in the tides of destiny and fate? No, I believe that we can fight this through, and see how far this world will take us. We have but to choose life over death, and we shall become the masters of our own story. Sure, we may lose countless vestiges of human decency and good culture along the way, but somehow we'll get there, and we will revel in our state of dominance and harmony over everything that threatens our very existence. Atleast I hope so. I have no idea what sort of destination awaits humanity beyond the filter, but somehow I believe that we can make it. It may take practically forever to do so, but I know we can do it. But what would this future even look like? We must consider what works and what doesn't; cull out the imperfections that intend to topple us from our vantage point. There's so much of the junk to begin with, we wouldn't know where to start. Afterall, who knows whether we'll discover faster-than-light travel, or perhaps artificial gravity? Those would be a few of the great hurdles we must face if we are to proliferate beyond this planet. And yet right now we're merely at the 0.7/1 on the civilization scale. We have so many ideas, so much potential. And yet we must learn not to squander it all away for foolish pursuits. But we are all odd in our own way, and who's to say what's worthwhile or not? Maybe it's just a simple matter of pursuing our dreams and listen more closely to what our hearts have to say? I wouldn't know. I'm just a girl blogging about my thoughts of where we as a people will choose to go to as a direction instead of sinking into the depression of being stuck at home with nothing to do.

Still, there's no telling where we'll end-up if we take our aspirations to a whole other level, and there's no telling what sort of future we can create for ourselves. Despite my overall dark perspective in life, I still choose to be an optimist when it concerns the well-being of humanity. While most have already abandoned hope and have become content with their lot in life, I choose to look forward instead of mulling over the past and being angry over things I cannot control. The past is over, there's only room left for the future and it's various implications that most fail to understand are boundless and therefore rebound under our influence. Most people would never even think about the fact that we are but a literal speck in the blip of the grand scheme of things, so is it that hard to imagine a God who sees and knows all things and how they will be? Perhaps for most, it's under the range of impossibility, but I think that reality is alot more mystical than what we give it credit for. And I have found that many of our facts are based solely on our own point-of-view. Regardless, I will see to it that I will experience life to the fullest, no matter what era I was born with, and I will strongly see to it all to the end. Life has too many ups and downs and uncertainties, but I think that if one is determined enough, you can do whatever you set your heart out to do. You just have to stick to it, and never falter. Even the smallest things can alter the course of the future, and the bigger things are just obstacles that we must grasp and learn about in order to overcome. We are afterall not invisible, but open to the world like a child that has just grasped how this world revolves and spins for no one but at the same time for everyone at the same time. Just depends how you would rather see things: As half-empty or half-full. Both are correct, but you can always choose what you want to see. IF all you see ir darkness and despair, that's all you will recieve. But I suppose that people who cling fervently to obtain something are no better-off than those who have nothing. Sometimes learning to let go is what is important, and knowing when to do so. Life is a dance. A dance that you must learn how to do with it's many sways and spins. And only then will you be ready to traverse life as an adult. Like a mad rollercoaster ride, you must learn to keep going without giving up. You may fall, but you still get up. And each and every time, I always choose to keep going. I want to be stronger and surpass myself, as only I get in the way between success and failure.

I have learned all of this the hard way, and I now know the error of my ways. I will not yield to falsehood and mockery, but to faith and love. It seems foolish, but this is the only way I know I'm going to keep going without questioning too much about myself. And yet when I do think about it, certain things have already happened and there's no way for me to turn back. No matter how small and insignifianct I am, I wonder if God will ever forgive me for the things I have said and done. And, above all, if I am able to forgive myself for these things which I cannot speak of. My very existance is a bane to those who live a more carefree life, yet I choose to think about what happened in the past rather than simply reconcile with it. Maybe, in away, I'm not completely over these events. But I refuse to forget about any of it. These memories ara part of who I am, and no matter how small I am or how people see me, I shall continue to look at the bigger things rathar than mope about the samll things that have already come to pass.