So, the airplane ride was long and comfy, but I've managed to get back to Bakersfield safe and sound. I've already been here for a few days and so far I have trouble finding things to do as I am left here in the house from 6AM to 5PM all by myself, with nothing but the large cats to keep me company. It's cold and smells like manure outside sometimes, but it's home. It'd be nice to meet and reconnect with my old friends again, and I am left here sad and bored with nothing to do but eat and walk around the otherwise quiet and relatively isolated house. I know this will all change once I get back to school, and I know that I'll be fine once they recheck my ovaries for any malignant forces (since I have been diagnosed with polycystic ovaries) that dare to threaten my fertility. So far, well-distributed pills and constant monitoring have kept me from the surgery table, but I don't fear it even if they say they'd have to take my entire womb out. I had always never thought of the possibility that I'd never ever have children, which is why I'm doing all I can to make sure I don't turn infertile. That would be such a disappointment in my life if I have to put aside certain my hopes I hold for the future. Whatever the case might be I'm keeping my spirits up and I'm going to do everything within my power to guarantee that that won't happen. I've kept myself busy all the while to prevent myself from panicking, so I've contacted all the people I've wanted to hang out with. Just to keep my mind preoccupied. So far this method has worked, and I am left with a feeling of urgency as I wait for the days when I can have a proper social life again. I've never been much of a partier and I don't drink caffeine nor alcohol, so I suppose I'm not much of an 'outgoing' type of person. But I have talked to people who have experience with this stuff and I know how these things usually roll. I'm not a complete dunce about adult matters after all. But, still, it wouldn't hurt to have firsthand experiences.
I'm here just in time for Christmas, which I know my family celebrates because of we as mixed people who grew up as Filipinos are Christian and, therefore, are part of the majority (as I have learned). Now, I don't have anything against other religions, but I do know how they operate as I have studied parts of both the Quran and Buddhist texts. So I know how foreign these other teachings are compared to my standard Christian beliefs. I don't excuse all the bad things the church has done --- like not sticking to their vow of poverty --- but, I am trying to reclaim the good Christian name. I'm not trying to be anything special, just simply more knowledgeable. Still, that does not excuse my lack of faith in Christmas, which I have failed to celebrate well enough throughout the years. I had to go through one Christmas after another without so much as a second thought or tribute to it, so now I am here writing this blog entry solely dedicated to Christmas and all its wondrous joys. It's always been one of my favorite holidays, mainly cause it involves a big break in the school calendar right before summer break. I am always for education, I will never be against it. And what they teach about Christmas is surprisingly very inaccurate. Like this is supposed to be the day of the year to celebrate the birth of Christ, but it turns out Jesus was probably born around January and not December if they trace the history well enough. Which is overwhelmingly disappointing to those who have been hardcore followers of the Holiday Season. But still, that doesn't mean all this gift-giving and celebrating means nothing. No, if anything it only increases the novelty of the Holidays instead of hindering it. What I know won't change how I feel about a particular way of celebrating or even when it's celebrated. I guess what matters is that it matters to people, to begin with, and not teaching us about things that are immoral or wrong.
